About the song
“That’s the Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” is a notable song by Carly Simon, featured as the lead single from her debut album, *Carly Simon*, released in 1971. With lyrics crafted by her friend and collaborator Jacob Brackman and music composed by Simon herself, the song quickly gained attention. It climbed to No. 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 and No. 6 on the Billboard Adult Contemporary charts. This success earned Simon a nomination for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance at the 14th Annual Grammy Awards in 1972, where she also won Best New Artist.
Musically, the song is recognized for its artful, semiclassical melody reminiscent of Gabriel Fauré’s style. Despite initial concerns from the record label about the song’s emotional depth and complexity, it was released as Simon’s first single. The lyrics delve into themes of troubled relationships, including the unhappy marriage of the protagonist’s parents, the dissatisfaction in her friends’ lives, and the controlling nature of her boyfriend contrasted with his eagerness for marriage. Simon has mentioned that the song’s portrayal of breakups was once seen as unusual, but it later reflected her own experiences and those of her peers.
The song’s success helped launch Carly Simon into the spotlight and has been featured on numerous compilations of her work, including *The Best of Carly Simon* (1975) and *Reflections: Carly Simon’s Greatest Hits* (2004). In 1971, it topped the charts in various cities, including Boston and Rochester. Although no official music video was made, a filmed performance from the PBS series *The Great American Dream Machine* and a performance at the Schaefer Music Festival were notable moments. These performances were later broadcast and have been available on Simon’s official YouTube channel, preserving the song’s legacy.
Video
Lyrics
My father sits at night with no lights on
His cigarette glows in the dark.
The living room is still;
I walk by, no remark.
I tiptoe past the master bedroom where
My mother reads her magazines.
I hear her call sweet dreams,
But I forgot how to dream.But you say it’s time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me –
Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we’ll marry.My friends from college they’re all married now;
They have their houses and their lawns.
They have their silent noons,
Tearful nights, angry dawns.
Their children hate them for the things they’re not;
They hate themselves for what they are-
And yet they drink, they laugh,
Close the wound, hide the scar.But you say it’s time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me –
Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be:
You want to marry me, we’ll marry.You say we can keep our love alive
Babe – all I know is what I see –
The couples cling and claw
And drown in love’s debris.
You say we’ll soar like two birds through the clouds,
But soon you’ll cage me on your shelf –
I’ll never learn to be just me first
By myself.Well O.K., it’s time we moved in together
And raised a family of our own, you and me –
Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be,
You want to marry me, we’ll marry,
We’ll marry.